The Florida Aquarium Will Name A Snake After Your ‘Slimey’ Ex
Let’s be real, we all have that one ex that makes us see red whenever we think of them. Sometimes Valentine’s Day can bring up those unwanted memories. Well, The Florida Aquarium has the perfect revenge plan for you. And it only costs $10.
From now until February 14, you can symbolically name one of the Florida Aquarium’s snakes after your slimiest ex, or someone who has done you wrong. Get back at them by forever associating them with a Burmese python. When you symbolically name a snake, you’ll receive a commemorative certificate and a photo of the snake. Click here to name yours! Bonus, you can leave an anonymous note, as long as it’s “family-friendly”, the Florida Aquarium might post it on their social media on Valentine’s Day.
The Florida Aquarium is located at 701 Channelside Drive, Tampa. They are open daily from 9:30a-5p, if you want to go see your “ex” in person.
Other Ways To Get Back At Your Ex
Okay, maybe you’re ready to end your current relationship, but don’t want to end up as a symbolic snake next year. Insomnia Cookies is offering a limited edition 12-pack of cookies for Valentine’s Day season featuring break-up messages. You can hit them with the classic “It’s not me, it’s you,” or choose from 3 other messages. Learn more about that deal here. There are two Insomnia Cookies locations in Tampa, one in Soho and the other in Temple Terrace.
We haven’t seen this “special” from local departments. But a few years ago a Florida police department had a “Valentine’s Special”. If you have an ex that you know has an outstanding warrant, the Port Orange police department would “take care of that for you”. Their social post at the time wrote “This Valentine’s Day month-long special starts off with a set of limited-edition platinum bracelets, free transportation with a chauffeur, a one-night minimum stay in luxurious accommodations and professional glamour shots that will be posted on online for all to enjoy”. We can’t think of a better way to get rid of your toxic ex than that.