I moved here a week ago, and I don’t really know anyone.  So what’s a single guy to do in a city that has millions of people?  Swipe right on everyone… Tinder and Bumble are pretty clutch for young professionals, who have no time to date the traditional way.  However nothing ever comes of the swipes.  Instead of dating we talk for two days, and match with someone we think is better, and forget about the last 20 people we matched with.  So I have come up with a list of people you need to watch out for when you’re swiping away.

  1. The person who only has one photo. Usually its a catfish, or a robot, but for the real people who are using one photo.  Stop doing that.  You will find not many people match with you, and the people who will swipe right, are probably creepy.
  2. The person with nothing but group photos…. If people can’t figure out who you are, they will most likely swipe left on you.
  3. The person who uses objects as photos.  So far I have swiped right to a pie, fire hydrant, and three cats.  Will I get a date with these things?  I hope so.
  4. A person with no bio.  I start my conversation with something I find relatable in your bio.  Everyone loves a little mystery, but give us something to work with.
  5. Don’t take pictures with your ex and post them as your profile picture.  This lets us know you aren’t over your EX!!!
  6. Don’t party in every picture.  I love a good beer on the weekends, but if every photo is you at the club.  That lets me know I will not be able to keep up.
  7. Don’t hate on the opposite sex.  We know why you’re on dating apps.  Someone broke your heart, but not every person will.  Move on, and go on a couple of fun dates.

Really dating is a shark eat shark world.  You can still find someone worth your time, if you give them the opportunity to get to know you.  So put your Sunday best on, and go grab a drink with some of the best in the Bay.  You might want to fix your dating profile first though…